I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so let's talk penis.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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