The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
