that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
