return my video game
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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