So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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