well most of my day revolves around power hour
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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