Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
