Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
