and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
