A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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