she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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