No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize