I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
