I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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