Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
