Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
