who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize