I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize