I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ketchup is God's man juice
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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