3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
