I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
