so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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