I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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