We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
