Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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