oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
