bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
