First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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