If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
