i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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