Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Four minutes until I can fart!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
