I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
