He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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