eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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