Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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