he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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