she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
