I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
did i just pee glitter
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
