Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
