It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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