Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
