I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
