On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
