Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
