also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
