there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
