So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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