This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
