I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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