I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
