Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
