So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
