it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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