i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize