Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just gift wrapped bread.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
