You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
