Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize