That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
