Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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