so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
