My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize